Busy!

I am having a hard time believing that May is almost over. However, when I look back at all the things we have been dealing with along with some other commitments I have taken on, I can see why May went by so fast!!!

I am planning a surprise 30th birthday party for my husband, Ross and if you know me I don't throw parties without looking at each tiny little detail. It's a major flaw for me because I get so obsessed with all these tiny details that no one even cares about! I just need to learn to let go! His party is in two weeks and I am super excited for it to be here and then be over! :) Ross has no clue which makes these even more fun.

I have also been asked to be one of the blog authors on the Lupus Foundation of MN's blog. Though this is a wonderful opportunity, it's also a huge commitment on my part. The blog is expected to launch in a few weeks so between now and then I have to have 3 blog entries done, a profile for me, and some ideas for potential titles. It's been a little hard fitting this all in but know this is something I really want to do.

So...stay tuned for the release of the blog. Excited to share my story and help others deal with lupus!

Raw post

I have to admit, I feel I have hit bottom right now. I am emotionally and physically exhausted Today was the first day I cried in front of Nolan. Tried so hard not to but it just all came out! He hugged me and asked me why I was sad. At that moment, everything that made me sad went away. My sister told me today to not dwell on the negative and to just be happy that I'm healthy and I have my family. And, I'm holding on to that by a string right now. To start out...We are still in the custody/child support/battles right now for Ross's son and it's just getting so old. I think the thing that put me over the edge was coming home to a $2,300 lawyer bill for just the month of March. We have now spent over $15,000 to fight for this child. Oh boy, could I write a book about this and I hope that someday these memories are as bitter and strong in my mind and I am able to put what has happened in a book. I feel so vulnerable to the devil right now. So raw and open to evil. I have hatred in my head, in my heart. I have said things I regret, and thought even worse things I regret. As I was driving to McDonalds tonight, (Yeah, I'm an emotional eater leave me alone!) I admitted to God that I was surrendering to Him. Asking Him to help me and use me in this time of vulnerability. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. Everything. We are fighting for this child for a reason, a reason we may not even know about at this point of our life. We have drained our savings, and risked our marriage for this child. A child that is not even mine. Sometimes that is almost just too much for me to even comprehend. Sometimes I feel like crawling in a hole and not ever coming out. Tonight is one of those nights. So tonight, if you are reading this, please pray for me, for my family. Please pray we can find peace in the decisions that have been made and pray that God uses us during this difficult time and that we can be glorified in this process.

Nolans 3rd Birthday

Just noticed I never posted about Nolan's 3rd Birthday!!! oh how time just flies....

We had a candy themed party for it and it could not have fit him anymore perfect as he has a major sweet tooth! (like his mommy and daddy!)

After his party, we went to a hotel with Ross's family and the kids got to swim and then order pizza. We had a great time! Can't wait to plan his next one:)

Updates!

So excited that is it already the middle of March! We are itching to get to the cabin and out of the house again!

We just had an article published about Ross's family finding their sister. It is an amazing story and we all feel so blessed to be able to be part of it!

Click HERE to read the story! Make sure you have some tissues handy, it's a real tear jerker!

Now that Nolan is 3 it is amazing how independent he has become. He wants to pick out his own clothes, dress himself, help me with EVERYTHING, and now he can ride his big boy bike! (with training wheels of course!) He has quite the sense of humor and is always making us laugh with his quirkiness. Love him so much!

We have some more exciting news to announce but that time will come soon!

Healthwise, still feeling great and enjoying EVERY second of it! I was going to be running the minneapolis marathon again this June but ended up having Ross's Surprise 30th birthday party scheduled for the day before the marathon. Don't think I will be able to bar hop all night and then go run 13.1 miles! So, I'm going to try to run one in September. It's ok because the weather here has been so cold I haven't been able to get outside and run like I did last year at this time. So the treadmill has become my friend!

Well, that's it for now!

Car Accident

Last Tuesday, I was driving to work. Listening to my radio, ready to get gas and start my day at work. As I was on a 2 lane hwy I was thinking "how weird is it that one second I'm driving without a care in the world and the next second you could be in a car accident." Not 2 minutes later I got hit. Seriously. Weirdest thing ever.

I was in the left turn lane yielding to oncoming traffic. As I was turning into my turn the lady that hit me was at a stop sign at the street I was trying to get to and didn't see me and went. Crash! I was hit on my side and then on the side where Nolan would have been sitting if we was with me. Thank GOD he wasn't! Though I don't think he would have been hurt either, he would have been scared to death!

Luckily, everything turned out ok. The lady took full responsibility and my car is fixable almost $6,000 later! I have to have a rental car for two weeks which has been a bit of a pain and I had to get new car seats but not having anyone hurt is by far the biggest thing for us to be Thankful for. As you can see by the picture below (which doesn't do justice of the damage) if the lady that hit me would have been a larger vehicle she would have hit me way higher up and possibly causing way more damage and possibly injury. We are so very thankful that she was in a tiny car and I was in a big vehicle!

Guatemala Mission Trip: Canceled

It's taken me awhile to write about this post. Mainly because I'm not sure how I feel about it. A few weeks ago I backed out of the mission trip. There were a few underlying problems including me getting MAJOR anxiety about it but there is something that has came up in our lives and I had to look at both of the things and decide which was more important at this time in my life. There were other things too..... like my husbands 30th birthday and me wanting to run the Minneapolis 1/2 marathon again this year interfering with the trip. It seemed like everywhere I looked there was yet another road block to conquer.


I can only hope and pray that I will have an amazing opportunity like this again and even though I feel like God was calling me to go on this mission trip, I feel him calling me to this other "priority" much, much more.

I hope that I don't regret this decision but I know that God has a plan for me in all of this and am so excited to see His plan unfold for me!

SO yes...on a side note I have decided I am going to try to run the Minneapolis 1/2 marathon again this year! I'm really still struggling with the whole IT issue in my right knee but am hoping I can conquer it and have another successful training and race. So excited to train my body for this challenge again!!! I will start writing in my running blog: www.anneburau.blogspot.com when I start my formal training in April.

Hoping we have an early spring this year too!!!! Have a very Blessed day everyone!!

Puerto Vallarta 2011

We're back! Ross and I had an amazing time in Puerto Vallarta but missed the boys like crazy! We spent most of our trip being lazy by the pool but did venture out downtown and walked the boardwalk one day, went snorkeling on the island of yllapa, and went to a few hockey games at the local pub. The resort we were staying at was about 80% Canadian, so we met a ton of fun friends that say "eh" a lot! We were the only Americans at the resort that we were aware of. Crazy. They nicknamed Ross "Minnesota."

The food wasn't the best at our resort so we found ourselves venturing out a lot to eat. At the resort, I settled for rice and beans for pretty much every meal! I'm so sick of rice and beans I never want to eat them again! At least for a long, long time. We had Burger King one day for lunch and it tasted the best but was so expensive! Ross paid $9.00 for his Whopper meal! Crazy!

We can't wait to go on another trip!!