Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where do I start with this one....When I started getting chemo, I talked to the nurse about losing my hair, etc and she gave me the card of this "Wig" and "Feel Good Program." I called the wig lady and actually have an appointment with her for next week. The extensions are getting to be a hassle to put in and I'm sick of wearing my hair up to hide the balding spots so I figured I would meet with her and see what she has to offer. Then, I call this "Feel Good Program." It is a one night class where they give you $300.00 worth of makeup and show you ways to help you look/feel better while going through chemo treatments. Basically..make you feel better right?? Well..I call and register and they call me back and tell me I cannot attend because I am not a "cancer patient." I told her I was going through chemo though and that the clinic had given me the card. She then proceeded to tell me that this was only for cancer patients and that it is a support "feel safe" thing and that they only want cancer patients there. She then said I should call the Lupus Foundation to see if they will have anything for me. I was appalled. So basically, my disease isn't bad enough to get to use this service. I am going through the same treatment, but apparently I don't "Qualify" for a feel good program. She told me I could talk to her supervisor but at this time I was basically in tears and anger I didn't want to talk to anyone anymore. I don't know if I am being over-sensensitive here or what but I think this is crazy!!!

I also just got off the phone with my nurse, my white blood count has dropped again after chemo even though I got those injections so I will be starting another antibiotic today...great bring on some more drugs for my already messed up body! I am also meeting with my doctor next week to discuss changing my chemo drugs to a different one. He doesn't like that my WBC keeps dropping so much and wants to discuss the possibility of another one. I will have to see what the risks/benefits/etc are to decide if I want to switch half way through. I also woke up at 2:30 to some extreme pain in my kidneys. It has since resided but some pain is still there so they are going to do a urine analysis tomorrow to make sure I don't have a kidney infection. Please pray this is nothing! I haven't ever had kidney pain except when I got my biopsy so this is all new....maybe it's just my kidneys telling them to leave them alone!!???