Always going to be an uphill battle, sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Whew..what a dramatic title hu??? It's really how I have been feeling lately though. Living life with Lupus is such an uphill battle. I really can't even remember what it's like to not be tired.


I celebrated 26 years of life last Thursday, on July 9th. Only 20 of those years being healthy years. Right now a majority of my life has been healthy. It's weird to think that when I'm 40, a majority of my life will have been me being sick. Not a surprise that I woke up on my 26th birthday and was not feeling good. I seem to have caught a cold in the middle of the summer. Sore throat, cough, headache, the whole works. On a positive note, my husband sent 2 dozen roses to me at work along with 2 (1) hour massages. My mom was also in town so I got to come home and spend my birthday with her, something that hasn't been done in years! We ordered pizza and she bought a lemon layered cake. By the time the pizza arrived however, I was so sick I couldn't even eat it. I'm glad my mom, husband and Nolan enjoyed it though.

I also got to celebrate my 26th birthday by going to the doctor for the usual visit and tests. I was nervous as heck. I mean, who wants bad news on their birthday?? I thought with me being so tired and losing so much weight lately that things might have taken a turn for the worse, but I as wrong. The doctor walked into my room with the biggest smile I have seen on his face ever. "Anne, you are doing so great!" he says. "really?" I said. He said things are getting really good, kidneys not only remaining stable but almost a tad getting better. Lupus is completely not active right now. I was beyond surprised. Happy, but surprised. He looked at my chart and noticed that I have lost quite some weight. He asked if I was eating, drinking fluids,the usual. "yes, Yes, and Yes" then he told me not to worry about it, and that if I lose anymore in the next month , then it will be something we will have to look into. SO...I'm trying not to worry. However, if you know me, I am tall and normal weight is 135. I'm happy with 135. Don't get me wrong, I'd take 130 though usually. I'm a happy size 6. Well..I am now 125lbs and size 4. 125lbs with clothes on and food in my stomach I should say. Clothes that just fit me good 4 weeks ago are now falling off. I had to buy some new clothes for work. It isn't normal.

I'm also struggling with some personal issues in my life right now, that I ask some prayers for.