I wish I could have seen my face when she said this. I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped. I guess I was so surprised because even though I had 100% planned on talking to her about getting pregnant at today's appt, I had almost chickened out knowing that as long as I don't talk to her about it, it's not 100% a "no" yet. Logical thinking on my part, right?
I then asked her if she has been talking to Dr. Anjum (My nephrologist that I talked to a few months ago about having another baby). She goes, "no, why?" "The only reason I'm asking is because your son is almost three. That's usually the time when people start figuring out if they want another one."
Well the news was not good. It was not what I wanted at all but honestly, I expected it so I wasn't shocked. She is mailing me some more information but some quick statistics she told me are as follows:
-75% or greater chance of having a miscarriage
-Almost 100% chance of having a lupus flare up during pregnancy which would result in me being put on high doses of steroids
-Getting off a few of my medications and switching to one chemo type drug.
-and she's not 100% sure my kidneys could handle another pregnancy
She told me she cannot tell me "no." This has to be Ross & I's decision but it is her job to give me the necessary information to help make up our decision. So, instead of being upset I am looking at this like it is just the sign I was asking for and praying to God for.
There have been a few adoption meetings at our church lately so Ross and I might stop in and see what those are all about but for now I think we are going to be laying low on this subject for awhile. So with that said, you won't be seeing a "baby" blog post for awhile.
And if I am meant to just have Nolan, so be it. He's happy, healthy, and the sunshine in my life everyday.
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