Kidney Biopsy results=devastating

I got a call from the nurse at 9am today and she told me that Ross & I had to come in at 11 to go over the results. I asked her if something was wrong and she told me that I have an aggressive form of kidney disease. Basically the one thing we didn't want the results to tell us!!!

We went to the doctor at 11 and just got home at 3:30, so nevertheless it has been a long, emotional day for the both of us. We were told a lot of information, lots that went over both of our heads.

I will start on 5 more medications, one is through infusion which I started today. It is a very high dose of prendisone (the drug that doesn't let me sleep). I will get the IV today, tomorrow and Wednesday. After that, I can start taking the pill form. I have the IV in now and am already counting down the hours until Wednesday until I can take this out! I hate having this in my arm.

I will also start chemo next week. This will be once a month. I want to clarify that I DO NOT have cancer. He made this clear to me as I questioned chemo. I should also not lose my hair. Basically this is to decrease the abnormal behavior of cells, instead of actually killing them. The dose is a much lower dose than cancer patients so I shouldn't lose my hair. This is a life saving drug for me right now. One of the side effects can be infertility so that was hard to hear too. However, I think deep down Ross & I both know we are done having children. However, I still don't like hearing I don't have the possibility to have more.

For the next 6 months, I will be taking all these things. The goal is for me to go in remission and for everything to remain calm. We are hoping to preserve what I have left of my kidneys and maybe even make it better.

Transplant is still far from off since I do still have 50% kidney capability. They do transplant and dialysis when your kidneys are completely done working. We are trying to stay away from this.

There are no more tears to cry, instead we have to look at this from the view that it could be worse. There are so many other people out there that are at a worst state than I am. I am so thankful that I am where I am and we caught this when we did. God has given me a house over my head, great family & friends, a beautiful baby boy and plenty other blessings so I cannot be mad at him for not giving me good health. Instead, I'm taking what I can get and still living my life normally. Like my doctor said, "Anne, don't stop living. Keep doing what you are doing. Live a normal life."

I will control this disease, this disease will NOT control me.